Jokes

1 .Pathan BLOOD Ke bare mein book parh raha thaWife: Aaj yeh book kyu parh rahe ho ji?Pathan: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera BLOOD test hai iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.

2.Husband: Sir, meri wife gumm ho gayi hai.Postmaster: Bhai yeh postoffice hai. Ja ke policestation mein complaint likhao.Husband: Kya karun…, khushi ke mare kuch samaj hi nahi aa raha… 

3.एक दुकान के बाहर लिखा था: 'इन्सानों की तरह बात करने वाला कुत्ता बिकाऊ है.' एक आदमी दुकानदार से जाकर बोला: 'मैं उस कुत्ते को देखना चाहता हूं...' दुकानदार ने कहा: 'साथ के कमरे में बैठा है, जा कर मिल लो।' ग्राहक उस कमरे में गया। कुर्सी पर एक हट्टा-कट्टा कुत्ता बैठा था. पूछा: 'क्यों भई, तुम यहां क्या कर रहे हो?' कुत्ते ने बताया: 'कर तो मैं बहुत कुछ सकता हूं, लेकिन आजकल इस दुकान की रखवाली करता हूं. इससे पहले अमेरिका के जासूसी महकमे में काम करता था और कई खूंखार आतंकवादियों को पकड़वाया... फिर मैं इंग्लैंड चला गया जहां पुलिस के लिए मुखबरी करता था. एक साल बाद यहां आ गया.' उस आदमी ने दुकानदार से पूछा: 'इतने गुणवान कुत्ते को आप बेचना क्यों चाहते हैं?' 'अव्वल नम्बर का झूठा है...' जवाब मिला

4  Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? Santa : You told me to do it without using tables. 

5  An essay on a cricket match A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except our Santaji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!" 
6 Biwi ko padhaunga Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga. Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo 
Santa frog 

7 Cigarette santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho? Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi. 8 Imagine Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?Santa : Simple, Stop imagining. 
9 Santa fell out Q: Why did Santa fall out the window ? A: He was ironing the curtain 
10  Brake fail Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..? Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai. 
 11 Banta fell in love Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie.... the Movie came to an End. A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, "Thank God it was just a movie and not reality." 
12 Fighting santa banta were fighting after exam. Sir: Y r u fighting? santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank, Sir: So what? santa: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied. .Santa enters a store that sells curtains.He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.Santa replies, “Fifteen inches.”“Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”
Santa tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, “But, sir, computers do not have curtains!”Santa says, “Hellllooooooooo……..I’ve got Windows!”